“How can it be possible to be married, and yet feel so alone?” is the lament of the emotionally disconnected spouse. It is in the sharing of our emotional worlds that we feel connected in marriage.  When this connection is broken or nonexistent, it can make for a lonely existence which inevitably makes one feel un-prioritized, isolated, and unloved. Couples become emotionally disconnected in different ways and for different reasons:

The Slow Drift:  The most common form of emotional disconnection is a slow drift that occurs over time.  The busyness and stresses of life take center stage and cultivating the relationship gets put on the back burner.

Conflict Avoiders:  Another form of emotional disconnection occurs when one partner pulls away to avoid potential conflict.  Conflict avoiders commonly believe that talking about issues will only make them worse.  Therefore, they use distance to protect themselves and the relationship from further damage that conflict may cause.

Emotionally Stunted:   For a variety of reasons, some people are not connected to or aware of their own emotions.   In an intimate relationship, this creates disconnection because a person who is not aware of what they are feeling is not able to share it with their spouse.

Checked Out:  The most dangerous form of emotional disconnection is when one partner starts to intentionally check out emotionally.  Apathy and ambivalence are signs that a partner has started to give up on the relationship.

Regardless of the reasons for the emotional disconnection in your relationship, creating a new dynamic in your marriage is possible.   Together, we can chart a path towards connection in which you turn towards each other rather than away.